


max's parents don't arrive (gone happy!)

by 1989



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Adoption, Fluff, Gen, MomGwen, Piggyback Rides, also max is still ten or so here but they adopted him at like eight, car sing alongs, dadvid, i like putting plot twists on popular things so. here ya go, like "it's so fluffy i'm gonna die" levels of fluff, minor pineapple pizza discourse, the heck do i have to do to get some gwenvid around here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 08:16:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12104529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1989/pseuds/1989
Summary: Max's parents don't come to pick him up at the end of camp.Because they already work there, not because they're awful people.aka, the perfect nuclear family drive home & get pizza





	max's parents don't arrive (gone happy!)

**Author's Note:**

> hi i'm just your average teenage girl who CRIES herself to sleep thinking about this au because i LOVE GOOD FAMILIES AND LOVE AND HAPPINESS (esp gwenvid mmm boy i cry extra hard over that)
> 
> i don't know if the part where max gets dizzy makes much sense but? not being able to see once you stand up is side effect of hypotension and i threw it in there bc i have it and i like the idea that max has some health issue (like that or asthma) that makes him hate camp even more
> 
> anyways hope u enjoy this shitty fic i wrote while listening to the iconic album hannah montana 2/ meet miley cyrus on repeat

The final car to pull onto the gravel entryway of Camp Campbell belonged to Nerris' mother. The woman apologized for her tardiness the moment she exited the car, readily explaining that she'd gotten held up in rush hour traffic after leaving work later than expected. David dismissed the issue with a wave of his hand, assuring her that it was perfectly fine. He then launched into a mostly one-sided conversation about what a joy Nerris was, and how he and the other campers hoped she planned on attending next year as well. Her mother gave the consoler a warm, genuine smile and thanked him before assisting her daughter in transporting her luggage into the trunk. Nerris yelled out a goodbye as she climbed into the passenger seat and was met with an enthusiastic wave from the consoler and a distinctly less excited yet still present wave from the boy beside him.

And then there were none. 

Well, there was still _one_. The remaining camper plopped onto the ground below, burying his face in his small hands out of sheer exhaustion. The last day of camp was always chop full of activities that he deemed to be ten times more miserable than the regular ones, including sitting around a campfire to sing and eat smores and participating in "team-building exercises." Max's back still hurt from Nikki being distracted by a squirrel during the trust fall. The worst part of the day was pickup, because it constituted an immense amount of social interaction and practically everyone acted like complete pansies when saying goodbye to the rest of the group. 

(Max refused to admit that his vision went blurry with tears when Nikki and Neil left. Nope. Never happened.) 

Now the last camper sat alone in the tall, unkempt blades of grass, totally wiped from the day's obnoxious festivities. He felt a hand ruffling his hair but couldn't muster up the energy to respond beyond a short huff of irritation, which at least let the consoler know he was still conscious. 

"It's getting pretty late, kiddo," David mentioned offhandedly, his voice noticeably calmer that it'd been when speaking to the other camper's parents. The last day left him a bit drained as well, though it was nothing a good nap couldn't fix, whereas Max required an entire week of uninterrupted sleep to recuperate. "D'you wanna go inside? Gwen said she's almost done packing."

Max gave a shrug; it wasn't like he had anyone else to wait on. He hoisted himself onto his feet and promptly ignored the dizziness that always accompanied standing too quickly. David took note of his swaying and held out a hand to steady the younger in case he fell over. "Woah there," he said as Max held his arms out on both sides in an attempt to balance himself. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," Max answered in spite of the grainy dots that danced behind his eyes like the static on a VHS and prevented him from seeing correctly. Due to his momentary blindness, he missed the worried expression that spread across David's face.

"Want a piggyback ride?" David offered, already crouching down to Max's level; he hadn't received an answer yet, but was pretty confident it'd be yes. Not a  _verbal_ yes, but a yes, nonetheless.

As expected, Max pointedly rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath about not being a child, but still climbed onto David's back without further objection. "I'll choke you out if you let me fall, tall ass," he said as David stood carefully, his arms locked underneath Max's knees to steady him.

"Point taken!" The taller chirped as he started towards the main campgrounds, bouncing on his heels a bit to accompany for the additional weight. Max made another snarky remark for good measure, but said nothing else as he leaned against David and let himself be carried.

The pair arrived at the counselor's cabin within the next few minutes. "We're back!" David announced as he pushed open the door with his foot, earning a groan from the boy who had been thoroughly enjoying the silent trip over. Gwen peeked over her shoulder from her spot near the couch that sat in the middle of the cabin, greeting them both with an exasperated "hey".

"I'm almost done, I just need to throw in these last few things," she explained, dropping a haphazardly folded shirt into one of the open suitcases that were situated on the sofa. Gwen had left halfway through pick up to pack she and David's belongings, as they hadn't gotten the chance to earlier; David wouldn't mind sticking around for another hour or so afterwards to finish, but Gwen claimed that she'd have an aneurysm if forced to stay longer than necessary. It was two against one if they counted Max's opinion, which was that anything remotely related to Camp Campbell should be violently burned.

...Needless to say, they didn't count Max's opinion fairly often.

David graciously thanked her as he crossed the room, planting a peck to her cheek that Gwen turned her head during and made a legitimate kiss. "Get a room!" Max protested, shoving Gwen backwards with a light push to the forehead.

"This  _is_ our room, you little shit." Gwen stood on her toes and aggressively smooched him on the forehead, causing Max to swing his arms with twice the force as before. "It's technically mine, too," he argued once he managed to shoo her away, pointing to the spare cot resting in the corner as proof of his residence. David had dragged it in to let him crash on whenever he had nightmares, though he always ended up crawling in between he and Gwen since their bed was, in his own words, "infinitely less shitty." Gwen narrowed her eyes as she inspected said cot, but dismissed it with a click of her tongue and redirected her attention towards the pile of clothes. "You can say that once you start paying the rent, sport."

David chuckled at their petty bickering as he leaned down to gently deposit Max onto the floor in order to help Gwen. The couple continued packing (see: Gwen pitched wrinkled clothes into the luggage and David went behind her to fold them properly) while Max grabbed his backpack from the opposite end of the room and slung it over his shoulders.

"Alright, I think we're good to go!" David exclaimed, wiping an imaginary line of sweat from his forehead after zipping the final suitcase closed. Gwen let out an exhausted yet relieved sigh as she fell backwards onto an empty space on the couch. "Thank God, we can finally leave this hell hole," Max said, plopping down beside her and ignoring David's impression of a wounded puppy that came shortly after the remark.

Gwen resisted the urge to cheer in agreement and instead threw Max a hidden thumbs up in order to spare her boyfriend's feelings. "Speaking of which, how does pizza sound for tonight?" They went out to eat each year on the final day since nothing was preserved at home and both adults were too worn to drag a kicking child into a grocery store at nine pm. It'd turned into somewhat of a tradition these past two years that typically ended with Max "accidentally" spilling ice cream in the backseat and Gwen suffering with a migraine from the music David insisted upon playing, but it was about as nice as an outing with the three of them could get.

"Is that even a question?" Max asked incredulously, staring at Gwen like she'd pulled out a needle and spontaneously begun shooting up meth. "Literally anything sounds good after an entire summer of shitty, inedible food."

"Language," David tsked on reflex as he passed Gwen her suitcase. The odd little family gathered their items and exited the cabin, the tallest shifting his luggage to his other hand to lock the door behind them. They'd be back first thing in the morning to clean up, but it never hurt to take precautions in case someone planned on squatting. "The Quartermaster's cooking might not be _delicious_ , or... meet certain FDA standards, but he tries his best to give you kids nutritious meals."

"David, I've seen animated rats that cook better than him."

"Kid's got a point," Gwen admitted, giving David a tiny pat on the back before unlocking the vehicle parked directly outside and throwing their bags into the trunk. "No one's died yet, though!" Came David's objection that was much too enthusiastic for it's subject matter.

"Yet," their son echoed, eyes wide at the insinuation. David winked as if to say "it'll happen eventually", more specifically, "it'll happen to you", and couldn't contain his laughter at the way Max's expression morphed into one of pure shock. Still chuckling, he opened the back door and ushered in the child who was in the midst of reevaluating his existence.

"Gwen, can you taste test my pizza?" Max asked absently once the couple hopped into the front seat, blinking down at his hands like they held the answers to the universe.

Before she could ask why, David's hands flung to his mouth to (unsuccessfully) hold back a fit of laughter, which seemed to shake Max from his sudden trance. "This isn't funny, asshole!" He yelled while shaking the head of David's seat. "He's going to poison me!"

Gwen spared him a confused look before facing forwards again and twisting her keys into the ignition, decidedly too tired to get involved in whatever had conspired during the ten seconds she was out of earshot. "You're on your own with that one, bud," she said as she shifted the gear into drive and pulled straight out of their makeshift spot.

Max sunk down in his seat and wrapped his arms tightly around his backpack while grumbling about his inevitable death. "I would never poison you, kiddo," David promised once he was able to catch his breath, twisting around to face Max in the backseat. "As long as you keep your room clean!" Max shot him a scowl that only deepened as David booped him on the nose before turning back around.

As they pulled off of the dirt path and onto the long, winding road that stretched into the city where they lived, David messed with the dial on the radio before landing on a pop channel, one of the only stations that could currently be picked up. Max and Gwen simultaneously groaned as Carly Rae Jepsen wafted from the speakers, while David instantly broke into song alongside his fellow Canadian.

"This is where I zone out," Max declared, pulling his iPod from the front pouch of his bag and blaring his recently played song through his headphones. He barely got halfway through Bonfire before David motioned for him to take them off, effectively saving him from early onset of tinnitus and eliminating his mental escape from the current situation.

"What?" He asked with only one ear bud out.

"Well, first of all, you're going to go fucking deaf," Gwen responded with a roll of her eyes. "Seriously, why did we even buy you that thing?"

"Also! I know you like this song!" David turned the volume up a bit louder and, surely enough, one of Max's favourite Bruno Mars song was playing. The ten year old huffed a bit in embarrassment, but ultimately paused his own music to listen to the radio, tapping his foot along to the beat. David sang along like he did with everything, and somehow managed to rope Gwen into singing with him. Loudly. Gwen. Loudly singing.

"I'D JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN FOR YA- are you really going to leave us hanging?!"

"You guys are insane if you think I'd stoop to this level!" Max screamed over David and Gwen's singing and looked out the window instead of straight ahead where they were improvising a music video. During the second chorus, however, he started singing before the action even registered in his mind and was too tired to fight it off. By the end of the song, the family of three was yelling the lyrics rather than properly singing them, and did the same thing with the next five songs that followed.

They were each thoroughly pooped out from the impromptu singing session and unanimously decided upon ordering a pizza and picking it up instead of sitting inside. This proved to be more difficult than not, and spiraled into a full fledged argument over toppings that almost resulted in their deaths when David suggested pineapple pizza and Gwen nearly swerved into an incoming truck. In order to sustain their lives and whatnot, David and Gwen begrudgingly agreed to order plain pepperoni. Max, on the other hand, complained the entire way to Pizza Hut about living in a fascist household that silenced his opinions and something about the moon landings being a hoax.

When they reached the pizzeria David immediately volunteered to go in and grab their food, likely with the intent to escape Max's current rant about how the space rocks in the supposed moon landing footage were clearly labeled as props. Once he left, Gwen pushed back her seat and propped her legs onto the dashboard, squeezing them on either side of the wheel.

"So, did you hate camp this summer as much as every other year?" Gwen pressed her eyes shut while stretching her arms above her head. Max cringed at the creaky noise emitted from her bones and bit back a comment about how fucking old she was getting, despite only being twenty four. "My hatred for that place only grows each time I'm forced to be within a ten mile radius of it," he spat, crossing his arms to further express his contempt. It took him a moment to recognize that he wasn't  _at_ camp anymore, and didn't have much of a reputation to uphold around Gwen. "But... I guess it didn't  _all_ suck."

"Oh?" Gwen hummed in surprise, peeking her eyes open.

"I mean, Preston and I got a lot closer and even exchanged numbers. Nikki brought that stray cat into our tent and tried to raise it." Max smiled at the memory of he, Nikki and Neil smuggling food from the mess hall into their tent for the rabid cat for an entire week before David discovered it and frantically arranged a field trip to the nearest animal hospital. "We even had  _actual_ fireworks for the Fourth of July instead of the illegal ones Cameron used to smuggle from Guantanamo. I guess it was... less shitty than last year?"

"Aw, Satan! You do have feelings!" Gwen smiled and sat up to pat Max on the head. Before he could quite literally chomp off her hand, David returned holding two large cardboard boxes.

"Alright family, let's get the show on the road!" David cheered as he hopped back into the car and placed the pizza on his legs, not bothering to question why Max looked like he looked like he was about to bite off Gwen's hand.

Traffic was mercifully slow this time of night, which allowed them to arrive home within the next ten or so minutes. After parking the car in their driveway, Gwen tiredly mentioned that she would unload their luggage after dinner even though she knew it was a lie the moment it left her mouth. She unlocked the door and David hurried in right behind her to flick on all the lamps that hadn't been used in the past three months. "Home sweet home," he said, beaming at the illuminated living room that looked just like they'd left it. Thankfully, considering the neighbourhood.

Max unceremoniously dropped his backpack on the carpet before trudging towards the couch and face planting directly onto it, letting out a loud groan that was, fortunately, muffled by the pillows that broke his fall. "Civilization. Air conditioning. Running water." In a seemingly labourious movement, he turned onto his side and held an arm out towards the flat screen that faced the sofa. "T.V!"

"We get it drama queen, you hate anything vaguely resembling nature. Let's just eat so we can go the fuck to sleep already." Gwen scooped the light boy up from underneath his armpits and deposited him onto a barstool. David had taken the liberty to grab the paper plates from one of the cupboards and plopped two greasy pieces on for each of them. The ten year old greedily grabbed at the plate in David's hand, but the taller flicked it back before he couch reach. "Nuh uh, go wash up first!"

Max groaned for what must've been the tenth time that hour, but shuffled into the bathroom without putting up a legitimate fight. He returned a minute later with clean hands and pajamas that had small teddy bears printed across the legs and a single graphic of a bear on the shirt. He wouldn't be caught  _dead_ with them at camp, but... they were too comfortable not to wear at home. Plus, they were a Christmas gift, and he knew that "Santa" (David and Gwen- he wasn't an idiot) would be disappointed if he never wore them.

Gwen had already devoured an entire piece by the time he returned, which was slightly impressive but not surprising for her, while David was taking his time with small bites. Max took his seat in between his parents and stabbed the straw into the Capri Sun that had been placed before him, downing half the pouch before digging into his food.

The family sat in a rare yet comfortable silence that only lasted up until David mentioned that the pizza was good, but "would've greatly benefited from some pineapples." Gwen angrily squeezed her water bottle until liquid pooled over onto the counter, and came back with an unsupported claim that everyone who ate "that shit" worshiped Satan.

As they fell into a silly debate about the ethics of pineapple pizza, Max vaguely realized how much he'd missed spending time with his parents over the summer. Of course he saw them at camp (arguably too much), but the time they spent alone as a family felt more special, like it was something just between the three of them and not meant to be shared with ten other unbearable kids.

Not like he'd tell them that in a million years, though.

"I think both of you suck, regardless of your pizza preferences."

"Max!"

Yup. Definitely more special.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm never going to get over my hc that max is into conspiracy theories lmfao it just makes so much sense with what he said to space kid in into town and the whole "fight the power 9/11" thing 
> 
> also the song max was playing (bonfire by childish gambino) is totally what i imagine he would listen to when trying to block out anyone pfhaha
> 
> anywho, comments make me cry harder than this family and i'll probably marry you


End file.
